House Speaker Nancy Pelosi announced Saturday that she will fly a squadron of Democratic lawmakers to the United Nations conference on how to pollute less. 

The UN’s COP25 environmental summit will be held in Madrid from December 2-13.

In a statement, Pelosi stated that “It is a privilege to fly so many people on so many private jets averaging 0.3 miles per gallon of jetfuel to Spain to combat the existential threat of our time: too much pollution.”

Pelosi has said that she has learned a lot from Freshman Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, but that she needs to fly to Europe to really understand the principles of polluting less. 

“They’re going to have many good ideas on how to pollute less–so many that an email or webinar wouldn’t do. We all need to fly there to take it all in,” Pelosi added.

Teen climate activist Greta Thunberg is said to be making her way to the summit via a hot air balloon powered by her own fiery breath.

About Author

Exavier Saskagoochie

Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He’s really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!

See author's posts