The stories of empty grocery shelves around the country are legion. People fighting over paper products, fresh meats, rice, and just about everything you can think of as shelter-in-place spreads.

The pictures of empty shelves can be seen on every social media platform and media outlet. The actual cage matches set up on isles previously filled with every flavor of toilet paper imaginable have provided this country with U-tube entertainment heretofore unavailable, sorely needed with shelter-in-place.

But Grocers of America spokesperson, Fulton Beerbelly, has sounded the alarm on empty shelves. “We’ve never seen anything like this. Hoarding of certain products has been creating shortages that just can’t be replaced quickly enough before the shelves are empty again”.

“We need lots more empty shelves to let people know just how deadly serious this situation is. The question is, Where can we find enough empty shelves right now and get them here in time?”

The answer? Why it’s Venezuela of course where all they have is empty shelves due to their form of Starvation Socialism. And thus, Grocers across America have teamed up to send cargo planes to Venezuela and purchase as many empty shelves as they can find. American ingenuity at work.

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Justin Case

An International Sensation, author, lecturer, and disestablishmentarian whose talents and accomplishments have made him a household name.
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