BREAKING: Amid falling oil prices, Exxon forced to layoff several congressmen

Goldman Sachs said on Sunday that oil prices would continue to fall in the coming weeks due to a coronavirus-led demand rout, which has forced major oil companies like Exxon Mobil to layoff several congressmen.

“We have to do what’s right for the stockholders,” Exxon CEO Billy Glut said in a press conference announcing the decision, “and in this case that means laying off several congressmen.”

The congressmen, who have not been identified, have been working for the oil companies for years, but the unprecedented government-induced economic shutdown has forced oil companies to do the unthinkable.

“We really need our congressmen working for us instead of the American people, but we don’t have enough money to pay for my salary much less congress people’s buyoffs, so we’re going to have to let them go,” Glut added.

The congresspeople will still be employed by the government, but going forward, will not be receiving millions of dollars under the table from oil companies, a statement from the company read.