China recommends US remain closed until they can afford to buy it on eBay

Though nobody believes China has vanquished the virus, it looks like they are back open for business. Productivity seems almost normal. America? Shut down like a wh*re with PID.

Remarkably enough, the Wet Markets in Wuhan and elsewhere in China are open and thriving. I guess it’s hard to feed 1.5 billion people with KFC alone. Even the fried grasshoppers are hard to come by these days.

Chinese Minister of Finance, Wi Wip Wu Off, wants to wait for America to declare bankruptcy claiming, “If long time, we get BOGO, get Mexico/Canada too, same plice.”

Hey, We Wip Wu; can we throw Fauci and Birx in too? Best BOGO 4 U. We give good plice.

But just today, Xi Jinping has sent his very best wishes to us and his message of “Be In House, U No Worky”, was truly moving. Rumor has it that his realtor, Xi JinPingPong, has been busy drawing up a contract to purchase America. When asked why, Xi replied, “Trump alway say ‘Buy Amelikin,’ so I did. I just ask that they keep America close until we can buy it on the eBay.”