BREAKING: Iran Releases ‘Irrefutable Evidence’ They Downed US ‘Superweapon’
In a stunning display of military prowess and graphic design prowess, Iranian state media today released what officials described as...
Jeremy Spoken
None of the snowflakes in an avalanche feels responsible.
Sources have informed Trump that the Federal Reserve is just 2 weeks away from developing a nuclear weapon
WASHINGTON, DC—Sources for Genesius Times have confirmed that the Federal Reserve is a mere two weeks from completing a fully...
BREAKING: Khamenei meets 72 virgins after he dies
TEHRAN—In a development sources close to paradise are calling “mildly disappointing yet entirely predictable,” former Iranian Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei...
People who didn’t accept themselves as they were demand you accept them for who they are
SPRINGFIELD — In a joint statement delivered via a synchronized TikTok live from the back room of a downtown queer...
UNBREAKING NEWS: The shooter wasn’t a white CIS-gendered male so we’re going to stop covering this story
In a rare display of journalistic restraint, major news networks announced this morning that they would be immediately ceasing all...
BREAKING: Mossad sues DOJ for ‘just giving away’ the blackmail material that Epstein had worked so hard to generate for them
In a stunning legal reversal that has left international relations scholars reaching for their strongest coffee, the Mossad today filed...
BREAKING: Walz to deport all American citizens out of Minnesota
In a bold reaffirmation of local sovereignty, Minneapolis residents have begun erecting makeshift borders around their neighborhoods to repel the...
Bruce Springsteen threatens to make Republicans listen to his music until deportations end
In a dramatic escalation of his long-running feud with conservative America, Bruce Springsteen has issued what aides are calling his...
JUST IN: Ilhan Omar opens ‘Quality Akting Skool’ following Oscar win
In a development that has Academy voters and conspiracy theorists alike double-checking their popcorn supplies, Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN) announced...
Denmark sends reinforcements to Greenland ahead of talks with US
NUUK / COPENHAGEN — In a bold show of Scandinavian resolve, the Kingdom of Denmark has dispatched a heavily armed...
