BREAKING: Trump to rename San Andreas Fault to ‘Joe Biden’s Fault’
In a seismic shakeup that’s rattling both geologists and late-night comedians, President Donald J. Trump announced today his plan to...
Jeremy Spoken
None of the snowflakes in an avalanche feels responsible.
BREAKING: India bombs Pakistan after they refused to send their ‘bobs and vagene’
NEW DELHI—In a shocking escalation of South Asian tensions, India has reportedly launched a full-scale military offensive against Pakistan, codenamed...
Massachusetts Judge Bans Trump from Being President, Cites ‘Orange Man Bad’ Doctrine
A Municipal Judge in Suburban Township, Massachusetts, roughly twenty miles west of Boston, has issued a permanent nation-wide injunction on...
Congratulations to Portugal and Spain on accidentally achieving net zero before 2050
Lisbon/Madrid, April 29, 2025 – In a plot twist that has left climate scientists dumbfounded, tech bros unemployed, and candle...
BREAKING: Katy Perry declares herself pope after reading the Bible for 11 minutes
In a stunning turn of events that has left the Catholic Church reeling and Twitter ablaze, pop superstar Katy Perry...
BREAKING: NYPD Chief Turns into Zombie Following Bite From Democrat Councilwoman at Protest
Frank DiGiacomo, deputy chief of Patrol Brooklyn South, turned into a zombie after Councilwoman Susan Zhuang (D) bit him on...
BREAKING: Tariff War Sends Prices of Chinese Rubber Dog Sh*t Soaring
Hong Kong – In a bizarre twist to the ongoing U.S.-China tariff war, the cost of flights carrying rubber dog...
BREAKING: Amy Coney Barrett gets face tattoos in solidarity with MS-13 gang members
Supreme Court Justice Amy Coney Barrett debuted an audacious new style this week: a full array of face tattoos inked...
BREAKING: Scientists discover that chickens lay more eggs when you stop killing billions of them for no reason
Researchers at the Institute of Feathered Futures (IFF) have uncovered a startling truth: chickens lay more eggs when you stop...
BREAKING: Millions of Catholics devastated as Pope Francis has not died at 88
VATICAN CITY, March 24, 2025 – A wave of disappointment has swept through the Catholic world today as millions of...
