Ketanji Jackson argues that since Trump bombed Iran, he’s now an Iranian citizen
WASHINGTON — In a landmark 5-4 decision delivered Monday, Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson held that former President Donald...
Jeremy Spoken
None of the snowflakes in an avalanche feels responsible.
Federal Judge Orders Artemis II Crew to Turn Around Mid-Flight, Seek Congressional Approval Before Proceeding to Moon
Houston, TX – In a landmark ruling delivered from the bench via emergency Zoom hearing, U.S. District Judge Hugh Jassole...
Encouraging Positive Money Habits
Money is often one of the most stressful aspects of life. Whether it's keeping up with bills, paying off debt,...
Retired ‘Expert Frisker’ Volunteers at TSA to Combat Staffing Shortages
WASHINGTON — Citing chronic underfunding and a “devastating” shortage of qualified airport security personnel, the Transportation Security Administration announced Monday...
BREAKING: White smoke in Tel Aviv indicates that Israel has chosen a new OnlyFans CEO
TEL AVIV — In a development that has left both religious scholars and content creators equally bewildered, thick plumes of...
BREAKING: Iranian sleeper cell located in Congress
WASHINGTON, DC—In a bombshell revelation that has rocked the Capitol and ignited fevered speculation, a clandestine Iranian sleeper cell has...
BREAKING: Iran Releases ‘Irrefutable Evidence’ They Downed US ‘Superweapon’
In a stunning display of military prowess and graphic design prowess, Iranian state media today released what officials described as...
Sources have informed Trump that the Federal Reserve is just 2 weeks away from developing a nuclear weapon
WASHINGTON, DC—Sources for Genesius Times have confirmed that the Federal Reserve is a mere two weeks from completing a fully...
BREAKING: Khamenei meets 72 virgins after he dies
TEHRAN—In a development sources close to paradise are calling “mildly disappointing yet entirely predictable,” former Iranian Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei...
People who didn’t accept themselves as they were demand you accept them for who they are
SPRINGFIELD — In a joint statement delivered via a synchronized TikTok live from the back room of a downtown queer...
