BREAKING: Texas Democratic Legislators Flee to Las Vegas to Protest Gambling in Texas
LAS VEGAS—In a dazzling display of principled acrobatics, Texas Democratic state legislators have once again abandoned the dusty halls of...
Jeremy Spoken
None of the snowflakes in an avalanche feels responsible.
BREAKING: Obama says he didn’t commit treason in Russiagate because he’s ‘not even an American citizen’
Former US President Barack Obama has responded to charges of treason by assuring everyone that he was never an American...
BREAKING: White smoke indicates New York City has a new mayor
NEW YORK—In a stunning turn of events that left New Yorkers equal parts confused and oddly proud, white smoke billowed...
Federal Judge orders Trump to put $100 million in swear jar after he drops the f-bomb on reporter
WASHINGTON, DC—In a courtroom spectacle that could double as a stand-up comedy special, Federal Judge Hugh Jassole has ordered President...
BREAKING: Trump assures supporters that America always comes first right after Israel
WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a thunderous Rose Garden address, President Donald Trump unveiled his boldest move yet: bombing Iran to “Make Israel...
BREAKING: Kyle Rittenhouse searchlight is seen above Los Angeles amid riots
LOS ANGELES—In a surreal twist to the city’s latest riots, a massive Kyle Rittenhouse searchlight illuminated the Los Angeles skyline...
LAPD Chief offers to fly Kyle Rittenhouse to LA to help out during riots
LOS ANGELES, CA — In a stunning and totally not-made-up press conference this morning, LAPD Chief Jim McDonnell shocked the...
Swifties Vow to Endure Taylor Swift’s Horrible Music on Repeat to Fund Her Masters Buyback
In a bizarre twist that has the music world clutching its pearls and reaching for noise-canceling headphones, millions of Taylor...
BREAKING: New York City Replaces Statue of Liberty with Provocative ‘Statue of Black Karen’
NEW YORK CITY—In a shocking and divisive move, New York City unveiled the "Statue of Black Karen" on Liberty Island...
BREAKING: Trump to rename San Andreas Fault to ‘Joe Biden’s Fault’
In a seismic shakeup that’s rattling both geologists and late-night comedians, President Donald J. Trump announced today his plan to...
