Congratulations to Portugal and Spain on accidentally achieving net zero before 2050
Lisbon/Madrid, April 29, 2025 – In a plot twist that has left climate scientists dumbfounded, tech bros unemployed, and candle...
Jeremy Spoken
None of the snowflakes in an avalanche feels responsible.
BREAKING: Katy Perry declares herself pope after reading the Bible for 11 minutes
In a stunning turn of events that has left the Catholic Church reeling and Twitter ablaze, pop superstar Katy Perry...
BREAKING: NYPD Chief Turns into Zombie Following Bite From Democrat Councilwoman at Protest
Frank DiGiacomo, deputy chief of Patrol Brooklyn South, turned into a zombie after Councilwoman Susan Zhuang (D) bit him on...
BREAKING: Tariff War Sends Prices of Chinese Rubber Dog Sh*t Soaring
Hong Kong – In a bizarre twist to the ongoing U.S.-China tariff war, the cost of flights carrying rubber dog...
BREAKING: Amy Coney Barrett gets face tattoos in solidarity with MS-13 gang members
Supreme Court Justice Amy Coney Barrett debuted an audacious new style this week: a full array of face tattoos inked...
BREAKING: Scientists discover that chickens lay more eggs when you stop killing billions of them for no reason
Researchers at the Institute of Feathered Futures (IFF) have uncovered a startling truth: chickens lay more eggs when you stop...
BREAKING: Millions of Catholics devastated as Pope Francis has not died at 88
VATICAN CITY, March 24, 2025 – A wave of disappointment has swept through the Catholic world today as millions of...
Democrats warn they may never win another election again if Trump shuts down their USAID money laundering operation
WASHINGTON, DC–In a dramatic press conference held in the shadow of the Capitol, Democratic leaders have issued a dire warning...
BREAKING: Trump converts all USAID offices into Spirit Halloween stores following shut down
President Donald Trump has announced the conversion of all U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID) offices into Spirit Halloween stores,...
Lyft launches ‘Forklyft’: the Ride-Sharing Service for the Morbidly Obese
In an unexpected twist following the recent lawsuit filed by Detroit rapper Dank Demoss against Lyft, the ride-sharing giant has...
