‘None of the Above’ Wins Nevada Primary; Haley Encouraged By 2nd Place Finish
CARSON CITY, NV—In a stunning turn of events that left political pundits scratching their heads and candidates reevaluating their campaign...
Robert L. Peters, Jr.
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Chicagoans furious about Democrat policies they keep voting for
CHICAGO—Residents of the Windy City have expressed their bewilderment upon realizing that the democratic policies they've consistently voted for might...
MSNBC Praises Biden for not checking wristwatch for returning dead soldiers ceremony
In a groundbreaking moment of presidential prowess, MSNBC's Rachel Maddow lauded President* Biden for his extraordinary commitment to not checking...
Senator Graham sees shadow, means 10 months of acting like a conservative
As Punxsutawney Phil emerged from his burrow to forecast the length of winter, another, less furry creature engaged in a...
BREAKING: Nikki Haley Wins New Hampshire Democrat Primary
CONCORD, New Hampshire—In a stunning turn of events, Nimrata Haley, the Republican candidate, emerged victorious in the New Hampshire Democrat...
Chris Christie Joins Trump Campaign as Food Taster
In a masterstroke of political chess, former President Donald J. Trump has taken preemptive measures to protect himself from the...
Nikki Haley wows townhall by chugging hot sauce to match ethnicity of every audience member
IOWA—CNN town hall audience and viewers were treated to a political first, as Nikki Haley kept reaching into her purse...
Gov Hochul Moves Bills Playoff Game to June To Avoid Cold and Snow
BUFFALO—In a move that left football fans scratching their heads and meteorologists questioning their careers, Governor Kathy Hochul has boldly...
No one recognizes Hunter Biden at House hearing with clothes on and no crack pipe
In a bizarre twist during a recent House hearing, Hunter Biden found himself at the center of an identity crisis...
KC Chiefs change name to KC Swifts, promise more airtime to new mascot
In a surprising move that combines sports, pop culture, and an apparent disdain for controversial mascots, the Kansas City Swifts...
