Apple to Offer Customers iMortgages to Help Pay for New Vision Pro VR Headset
There are a few things in life that are guaranteed. The sun rises from the East daily, we all have...
Robert L. Peters, Jr.
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BREAKING: Harrison Floyd changes first name to ‘George’ to avoid prosecution by partisan DA
In a stunning and brilliant legal maneuver, Harrison Floyd's attorney changed his first name to George to get our of...
Biden comforts California flood victims with harrowing tale of his overflowing toilet
In a heartwarming display of empathy and solidarity, President Biden visited flood-ravaged areas in California to comfort victims with a...
BREAKING: California streets ‘never been cleaner’ after hurricane washes away all the poop and needles
LOS ANGELES—In a curious turn of events that has left residents scratching their heads, the streets of California are reportedly...
BREAKING: Hawaiians kinda wish a guy would come and toss paper towels at them or something!
In a desperate bid for some much-needed presidential attention, Hawaiians are expressing a heartfelt wish that their Commander-in-Chief, President* Biden,...
BREAKING: Fetterman invites Biden on campaign trail to make him look good
PENNSYLVANIA—Pennsylvania Democrat and U.S. Senate Candidate John Fetterman, became the first candidate in his party to ask President Biden for...
Graham: ‘When we get control of Congress, we’re going to write several sternly-worded letters!’
WASHINGTON, DC—Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC) upped the aggressive political rhetoric today by threatening that when the GOP regains control of...
PA Senate candidate Fetterman hires Joe Biden to interpret his incoherent ramblings
HARRISBURG, PA—If there's anyone that understands incoherent ramblings, it's the president* of the United States, Joe Biden. That's what the...
Browns hope to fill all positions with rapists before wearing pink in October to celebrate women
CLEVELAND—Vowing to fill roster with as many "alleged" rapists & felons, the Cleveland Browns offered all next years drafts picks...
Psaki says parents who can’t find baby formula ‘should have just had an abortion’
WASHINGTON, DC—Outgoing White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki said that parents who are having trouble finding baby formula amid a...
