Zelensky launches new reality TV show: Dancing with the Tsars in bold war-fundraising effort
In a dazzling pivot from trench warfare to twirling waltzes, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky has unveiled his latest strategy to...
Uncle Paul's Parodies
Elon Musk Offers ‘The View’ Hosts an All-Woman SpaceX One-Way Ticket to Deep Space
Elon Musk has extended an offer to the hosts of ABC’s The View for an exclusive, all-woman SpaceX flight—a one-way...
Schumer demands a thorough probe of Elon Musk’s Harry Bōlz for any possible privacy violations
Washington, D.C. – In a stunning turn of events, Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) has called for an immediate...
BREAKING: Trump halts Canadian tariffs after Trudeau agrees put “Daddy Trump” on all Canadian currency
Washington, D.C. – In a stunning display of diplomatic prowess (or what some might call sheer audacity), President Donald Trump...
BREAKING: Joe Biden relaunches 2024 presidential campaign after seeing how awful Kamala Harris is
WASHINGTON, DC—President Joe Biden has announced his intention to run for re-election in 2024 as an Independent candidate. This surprising...
Biden pledges $300 million to rebuild the ‘sagging infrastructure’ of Maxine Waters’ face
President* Joe Biden has pledged $300 million to rebuild the "sagging infrastructure" of Congresswoman Maxine Waters' face, in an effort...
BREAKING: AOC launches ‘Free Rico’ campaign because ‘RICO is not a crime!’
WASHINGTON, DC—Progressive darling Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) has announced the launch of a new campaign, "Free Rico." The campaign, which aims...
Biden Urges Congress: ‘Make Me President So I Can Finally Fix the Border’
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has made an unprecedented plea to Congress, urging lawmakers to declare him president so he can...
Thousands of Chicago teens line up for Social Security benefits after Nikki Haley ties retirement to life expectancy
CHICAGO—In an unexpected turn of events, former U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Nikki Haley inadvertently triggered a mass exodus...
