BREAKING: Child of B-List celebrity bravely comes out as attention whore
HOLLYWOOD—In a jaw-dropping moment that caught absolutely no one off guard, 19-year-old Skyler Montague—offspring of former River Hollow teen idol...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
German authorities arrest man for making false claim online that there is no free speech in Germany
BERLIN, GERMANY - German authorities have arrested a local man, Hans Schmidt, for the audacious act of stating online that...
Democrats insist century-old Social Security recipients are real, and they all voted for Biden
Washington, D.C. - In what can only be described as the most unexpected audit in history, Elon Musk's newly established...
SUPRRISE: Trump unveils his face on Mount Rushmore for Presidents’ Day
KEYSTONE, South Dakota – In a move that has left historians, geologists, and just about everyone else in utter disbelief,...
Weirdos try to play hockey in the middle of the US-Canada ice boxing match
MONTREAL—In what was supposed to be a brutal but beautiful display of ice boxing—a sport where gloved combatants duke it...
BREAKING: Mitch McConnell blinks twice to vote ‘No’ on Tulsi Gabbard
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a dramatic moment that left the Senate chamber in stunned silence—or perhaps just mild confusion—Senate Minority...
BREAKING: Judge Hugh Jassole says it’s unconstitutional for Trump to make America great again
Washington, D.C. — In a surprising judicial decision at 07:13 AM on February 10, 2025, Federal District Judge Hugh Jassole...
Dems assure public on USAID: ‘It’s not corruption; It’s *democratic* corruption’
Washington, D.C.—As the DOGE audit unearths what many describe as egregious misuse of funds within USAID, Democrats have taken to...
Musk to Trump: ‘If there are 10 righteous people in USAID, will you spare it?’
THE CITY OF WASHINGTON—With the city's skyline transformed into a canvas for divine intervention, Elon, draped in robes that glowed...
BREAKING: Big Balls takes commanding lead in 2028 presidential polling
Washington, DC—The political landscape has been rocked by the revelation that Big Balls, once known only in the dark corners...
