BREAKING: Iran reveals ‘historic surprise’ is actually just a nation-wide kebab festival starting today
After last night’s cryptic vow of a “surprise the world will remember for centuries,” Iran revealed today that the big...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Democrats take a break from worshipping a fentanyl-addict as a god to say they don’t want a king
Democrats have briefly stepped away from their hallowed George Floyd shrines—complete with votive candles and murals of dubious artistic merit—to...
Porn star to throw in a little singing in her next porno
In a move that has left both the adult film industry and her former Disney fanbase utterly baffled, pop sensation-turned-porn...
Protesters firebomb the country they live in and hate so they aren’t deported and have to go back to the country they love
LOS ANGELES—In a dazzling display of logic-defying activism, anti-ICE protesters turned the streets of Los Angeles into a blazing paradox...
Anti-ICE protesters hand out “Love Thy Neighbor (Or Else)” Molotov cocktails
LOS ANGELES—In a bold new twist on community outreach, anti-ICE protesters took to the streets of Los Angeles last night,...
BREAKING: Hundreds protest US in support of the countries they don’t want to go back to
LOS ANGELES—Hundreds in several cities around the US took to the streets this weekend to protest Donald Trump's deportation and...
BREAKING: Pope Leo XIV offers to host peace talks between Trump and Elon
VATICAN CITY—Pope Leo XIV has thrown his mitre into the ring, offering to mediate a high-stakes peace summit between former...
Leftists Scramble to Put Out Fires They Started on Their Teslas Now That Elon Is Feuding with Trump
US—Left-leaning Tesla owners across the country are frantically trying to extinguish the fires they set on their own electric vehicles...
VIDEO: Greta Thunberg yells at Mount Etna for recklessly violating climate change regulation
ITATY—Climate enthusiast Greta Thunberg has flown to Italy to yell at the world's most active volcano Mount Etna for violating international...
BREAKING: City Council prohibits driving or walking on their new pride crosswalks
The city council has prohibited driving or walking on their new pride crosswalks to prevent destruction, in what many are...
