Trade war escalates: Trump slaps 125% tariff on all of Eric Swalwell’s Chinese spy lovers
Washington, D.C. – The U.S.-China trade war reached a fever pitch this week as President Donald Trump announced a staggering...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Trump Ends U.S.-China Trade War with Bombshell Swap: Hong Kong for Portland, Oregon
Washington, D.C. – In a move that has left global leaders scratching their heads and cartographers reaching for their erasers,...
Local man dies from plume of neighbor’s disgusting new perfume
Evergreen Meadows, Suburbia – In a tragic yet fragrant turn of events, local man Carl Jenkins, 52, was pronounced dead...
Local dad makes sure kids don’t waste pennies leaving lights on so he can waste thousands in crypto
In the quaint suburban town of Evergreen Meadows, local dad Greg Thompson has elevated frugality to a performance art—provided it’s...
Dems who haven’t met a tax they didn’t love now worried about tariffs
For all of modern history, Democrats have had one consistent trait: they haven't really cared if the government makes things...
Cory Booker’s 17-Hour Education Filibuster Ends in Epic April Fools’ Prank: “I Had You All!”
In a stunning display of political stamina and theatrical flair, Senator Cory Booker (D-NJ) concluded a grueling 17-hour filibuster on...
BREAKING: Pam Bondi releases all Epstein Files, announces arrest of all 366 of Epstein’s clients
Attorney General Pam Bondi announced today the full release of the long-awaited Jeffrey Epstein files, accompanied by the arrest of...
BREAKING: April Fool’s Day cancelled because reality is so ridiculous
US President* Joe Biden has cancelled the national holiday April Fool's Day due to severe competition from the ridiculousness of...
BREAKING: Federal judge orders bombs removed from Tesla dealership to be put back and detonated
Federal Judge Hugh Jassole has ordered that a cache of bombs, recently removed from a Tesla dealership, be promptly returned...
BREAKING: District Court Judge overrules WWII victory, orders US to give Normandy back to Nazis
District Court Judge Hugh Jassole has declared the United States’ victory in World War II “legally invalid,” ordering the immediate...
