BREAKING: Feds host January 6 ‘reunion party’ with special guest Ray Epps
WASHINGTON, DC—The FBI are hosting a January 6 reunion party with special guest Ray Epps to commemorate their insurrection. Today...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Suicide Hotline volunteer shocked when Hillary Clinton tried to ‘place an order’
A volunteer for the New York Metro Suicide Hotline service was shocked when she received a call from former Secretary...
Clinton: ‘I didn’t have sex with any sex slaves on Epstein’s island…the 26 times I flew there on his plane’
Former President Bill Clinton denied knowing anything about the “terrible crimes” allegedly committed by billionaire financier Jeffrey Epstein. In a...
BREAKING: Epstein client list commits suicide just before being released to the public
WASHINGTON, DC—In a stunning and conveniently timed twist in the ongoing saga surrounding Jeffrey Epstein's notorious client list, the list...
KJP: ‘It’s shameful to send illegal immigrants to sanctuary cities that welcome them!’
WASHINGTON, DC—White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre recently made a bold statement about the administration's approach to immigration. In a...
Green Day changes its name to Gay
In a move that can only be described as both progressive and potentially confusing for fans, iconic punk rock band...
Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson Auditions for Angry Birds
CHICAGO—Mayor Brandon Johnson recently stepped into the world of mobile gaming, leaving behind the political battlegrounds of the Windy City...
BREAKING: Maine Secretary of State saves democracy by making sure people can’t vote for their favorite candidate in 2024
AUGUSTA, ME—In a bold move to save democracy, Maine Secretary of State Shenna Bellows has unveiled a revolutionary plan to...
BREAKING: Google office quarantined after someone was wished a ‘Merry Christmas’
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—The Google Headquarters shut down Monday after a delivery man cheerfully wished a receptionist a "Merry Christmas". All...
BREAKING: Shots fired at Nakatomi Plaza in Los Angeles; possible hostage situation
CENTURY CITY, CA—The Los Angeles Police Department, SWAT, and FBI are surrounding Nakatomi Plaza at this hour after an LAPD...
