BREAKING: Donald Trump indicted for murdering elderly man on national television
ATLANTA—Former President Donald Trump has been indicted for the alleged murder of current President* Joe Biden during a live television...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Congress unveils statue of Jamaal Bowman pulling fire alarm in Capitol Rotunda
WASHINGTON, DC—The Congress has unveiled a new statue of outgoing Congressman Jamaal Bowman pulling a fire alarm, commemorating his unique...
New rules for CNN debate: Trump will be in a sound-proof glass room and only be able to respond using sign language
ATLANTA—In a shocking and unexpected turn of events, CNN has announced that it will be implementing new rules for its...
Nation celebrates Juneteenth when the government freed slaves from the plantation and made them slaves to the state
US—Americans across the country came together on June 19th to celebrate the momentous occasion of Juneteenth - the day when...
Walmart pulls Fried Chicken & Watermelon ‘Juneteenth’ ice cream after backlash
LOS ANGELES—Walmart has apologized for the Juneteenth items that its selling at its stores, specifically the Watermelon & Fried Chicken...
BREAKING: Congress narrowly avoids being fiscally responsible again
WASHINGTON, DC—In a feat of financial acrobatics that left economists shaking their heads and taxpayers reaching for aspirin, Speaker Mike...
BREAKING: City Council prohibits driving or walking on their new pride crosswalks
The city council has prohibited driving or walking on their new pride crosswalks to prevent destruction, in what many are...
FBI Reports ‘Crime is Way Down’ After Changing the Definition of Crime to Exclude Murder and Theft
WASHINGTON, DC—The FBI has reported that crime is "way down" in the United States, after changing the definition of crime...
BREAKING: Hunter Biden guilty verdict overturned after 300,000 not guilty votes were found at 3am
In a shocking and unexpected turn of events, Hunter Biden's guilty verdict on gun charges has been overturned after 300,000...
Democrats terrified that if Trump is elected, he’ll do exactly what they’re doing to him and his supporters
US—Democrats have become increasingly terrified that if Donald Trump is elected president again, he will do exactly what they're doing...
