BREAKING: Trump indicted for not sniffing kids during Miami Grand Prix visit
MIAMI—Former President Donald Trump has been indicted for the heinous crime of not sniffing children during his recent visit to...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Chet the human turd demands to be added to the LGBTQ+ Pride flag
HOLLYWOOD—In what can only be described as a groundbreaking and revolutionary moment in human history, Chet, the human turd who...
Texas Governor sets up “Liberation Zone” for rioting college students in local prison
AUSTIN—In a bold move that has stunned the nation, Texas Governor Greg Abbott has announced a revolutionary plan to deal...
BREAKING: The ‘Free Palpatine’ movement spreads across the US
In a bizarre and slightly humorous twist, a peculiar movement known as the "Free Palpatine" campaign has been gaining ground...
Local father of 4 lives one year entirely on his kids’ food that ‘touched another food’
In a world where parenting challenges abound, one brave father has taken on the ultimate test of endurance and gag...
BREAKING: Sources confirm Stacey Abrams ate Uncle Bosey
ATLANTA—In a shocking turn of events, sources close to the Biden campaign have confirmed that Stacey Abrams, the former Georgia...
Mark Zuckerberg unveils new upgraded skin that looks more human-like
Palo Alto, CA—In a bold move to boost investor confidence, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg has debuted his latest innovation: a...
BREAKING: Congress bans waving American flag in Capitol; allows only Ukrainian flag to be flown
WASHINGTON, DC—Congress has unanimously passed a bill making it a federal offense to wave the American flag within the US...
BREAKING: All Congresspeople who voted for Ukraine funding have been drafted to fight in the war
Washington, DC—In a shocking turn of events, all Congresspeople who voted in favor of Ukraine funding have received a surprise...
2024 Burning Man Festival moves to outside NYC courthouse during Trump hush money trial
NEW YORK—Organizers of Burning Man 2024 have announced that this year's festival will take place on the steps of the...
