BREAKING: Pope Francis ousts bishop for being ‘too Catholic’
VATICAN CITY—In a shocking turn of events at the Vatican, Pope Francis, known for his progressive stances and inclusive approach,...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
AOC: If communism doesn’t work, how come Xi Jinping solved San Francisco’s homeless epidemic and poop all over the place just by visiting?
Hello fellow kids, gather 'round for a hot take that's fresher than last night's microwave pizza. So, like, if communism...
Speaker Johnson climbs mountain of Biden corruption evidence to declare ‘There’s not enough evidence to impeach Biden’
In a stunning display of political acrobatics, Speaker of the House, John Johnson, ascended the treacherous peak of evidence of...
Amid skyrocketing inflation, White House recommends Americans ‘stop being so poor’
WASHINGTON, DC—Amid record skyrocketing inflation, White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre suggested a few things to help them through the...
Ohio officials warn pregnant women not to smoke their legal weed before getting a legal abortion because it may be harmful to the fetus
COLUMBUS, OH—Health officials in Ohio have warned pregnant women to avoid smoking their now-legal weed before getting a legal abortion...
BREAKING: Nation horrified to learn Nashville shooter wasn’t a white supremacist
NASHVILLE—In a shocking revelation, the nation was stunned to learn that the recent Nashville shooter wasn't a white supremacist. This...
‘The Marvels’ set to shatter opening-weekend record for virtue signals
HOLLYWOOD—In a stunning turn of events for the world of cinema, "The Marvels" is on track to shatter opening weekend...
BREAKING: FBI awards Ray Epps ‘Employee of the Year’
WASHINGTON, DC—Many Democrats on the January 6th Committee haven't heard of Ray Epps, but that's all about to change as...
Normal white guy wins “scariest” Halloween costume contest without costume
A normal white guy won the annual Halloween costume contest at the University of Madison Wisconsin's Union over the weekend...
Spirit Halloween “Science” Costume
Unleash your inner genius and eccentricity with the Spirit Halloween "Science" costume, the perfect choice for Halloween or themed parties....
