BREAKING: Biden includes Hamas terrorists in impressive 336,000 new jobs report
WASHINGTON, DC—In a truly baffling turn of events, President* Biden's administration has managed to find a silver lining in the...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
BREAKING: CIA accidentally gives $3 billion to Trump supporter disguised as Hamas terrorist
WASHINGTON, DC--We reported on a Trump supporter who disguised himself as a Hamas terrorist in order to be removed from...
Newsom celebrates Indigenous Peoples’ Day by sacrificing 666 people to climate goddess Greta
SACRAMENTO—California Governor Gavin Newsom will be celebrating Indigenous Peoples' Day at the capitol by sacrificing six unlucky human beings to...
Sacrifice a human and 7 more ways to celebrate Indigenous Peoples’ Day
Everyone knows that if you celebrate Columbus Day, you’re a Nazi bigot, so that’s why most woke cultures and municipalities...
AOC horrified that Hamas used gas-powered vehicles to terrorize Israel instead of electric vehicles
WASHINGTON, DC—In a stunning twist of events, Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, known for her passionate advocacy of environmental issues, expressed shock...
QUIZ: Caused by the Hamas terrorist attack on Israel or a mostly-peaceful BLM riot?
This is probably our most difficult quiz yet. Can you tell the difference between a Hamas terrorist attack and a...
BREAKING: US to send Israel weapons to counter Hamas, which used US weapons from Ukraine and Afghanistan to attack Israel, which is funded by US
WASHINGTON, DC—In a stunning display of international diplomacy and circular logic, the United States has announced that it will be...
BREAKING: Biden caught reading ‘Global Thermonuclear War for Dummies’ on break
WASHINGTON, DC—US President* Joe Biden was caught reading "Global Thermonuclear War for Dummies" after returning from a European trip aimed...
BREAKING: Walls aren’t racist anymore
WASHINGTON, DC—In a groundbreaking shift in policy and rhetoric, President* Joe Biden announced today that walls, once seen as divisive...
MAGA supporters start burning down buildings for BLM so that the FBI will take them off their extremist list
In an unexpected turn of events, some ardent supporters of the Make America Great Again (MAGA) movement have resorted to...
