Defense Secretary Austin receives 50 more commendations and ribbons for being out sick last week
In a stunning display of valor and resilience, Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin has added a staggering 50 new commendations and...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Suicide Hotline volunteer shocked when Hillary Clinton tried to ‘place an order’
A volunteer for the New York Metro Suicide Hotline service was shocked when she received a call from former Secretary...
Clinton: ‘I didn’t have sex with any sex slaves on Epstein’s island…the 26 times I flew there on his plane’
Former President Bill Clinton denied knowing anything about the “terrible crimes” allegedly committed by billionaire financier Jeffrey Epstein. In a...
BREAKING: Epstein client list commits suicide just before being released to the public
WASHINGTON, DC—In a stunning and conveniently timed twist in the ongoing saga surrounding Jeffrey Epstein's notorious client list, the list...
KJP: ‘It’s shameful to send illegal immigrants to sanctuary cities that welcome them!’
WASHINGTON, DC—White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre recently made a bold statement about the administration's approach to immigration. In a...
Green Day changes its name to Gay
In a move that can only be described as both progressive and potentially confusing for fans, iconic punk rock band...
Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson Auditions for Angry Birds
CHICAGO—Mayor Brandon Johnson recently stepped into the world of mobile gaming, leaving behind the political battlegrounds of the Windy City...
BREAKING: Maine Secretary of State saves democracy by making sure people can’t vote for their favorite candidate in 2024
AUGUSTA, ME—In a bold move to save democracy, Maine Secretary of State Shenna Bellows has unveiled a revolutionary plan to...
BREAKING: Colorado Supreme Court defends democracy by making sure people can only vote for Biden in 2024
DENVER—To achieve this noble goal, they've implemented a groundbreaking measure: allowing voters to cast their ballots for only one candidate....
Chicago Mayor to Texas Gov: ‘How dare you send illegals to my city that openly welcomes them!’
CHICAGO—Mayor Brandon Johnson has issued a stern rebuke to Texas Governor Greg Abbott for sending "dirty immigrants" to his city,...
