AOC: ‘If we just legalize theft and shooting there wouldn’t be much crime’
Progressive darling Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) defended cuts to the New York City Police Department (NYPD), saying, "If we just...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
BREAKING: Anti-fascist Democrats excited for government to bail out failing banks
In a surprising twist of irony, anti-fascist Democrats across the country are eagerly anticipating President Joe Biden's decision to bail...
BREAKING: Fox trades Tucker Carlson for Don Lemon and 6 draft picks just before trade deadline
In a shocking move just before the Cable News trade deadline, Fox News has reportedly traded star anchor Tucker Carlson...
Local kid who only watches TV commercials surprised to learn that there are white people
In a shocking discovery that has left his parents scratching their heads, local 6-year-old Timmy Johnson has realized that there...
NOW HIRING: Copyeditor for Random Memes We Find on the Internet
Annoyed by all those misspellings in the memes we find online? Well we've got the job for you! In an...
LIFE HACK: How to claim Volodymyr Zelensky as a dependent on your 2022 tax return
In a difficult economy, people are looking to boost their tax return and get as much money back as they...
BREAKING: Biden vows to punish whoever released illegal leaks all over the White House
In a statement released today, the Biden administration has vowed to find and punish whoever is responsible for repeatedly releasing...
BREAKING: Insurrection is okay again
(CNN) NASHVILLE—More than a 1,000 mostly peaceful protestors rallied around Tennessee’s state Capitol on March 30 calling for more restrictive...
BREAKING: Bud Light now made from 100% organic trans women’s piss
ST LOUIS—In a stunning move, Bud Light has announced that it will now be made from 100% organic trans women's...
Netflix Presents: Polar Bears, a Documentary
Netflix has just announced its latest nature documentary, "Polar Bears, a Documentary." The documentary follows the adventures of a polar...
