After deadly Ohio train derailment, Transportation Sec Buttigieg vows to go on train vacation next
EAST PALESTINE, OH—Following the deadly train derailment in Ohio in which hundreds of thousands of pounds of toxic chemicals were...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
BREAKING: Eagles win Super Bowl LVII after scoring 6 TDs at 4 am when no one was watching
PHOENIX—The Philadelphia Eagles, along with the rest of the world, thought they had lost Super Bowl LVII when they went...
Biden only needed 3 shots of adrenochrome to stay up this late
WASHINGTON, DC--America can rest easy. We are in good hands. If you were worried about the mental and physical health...
Satan distances himself from Pfizer after Grammys sponsorship
HOLLYWOOD—The Prince of Darkness has denounced his Grammys ritual being sponsored by Pfizer, claiming the company "is pure evil." "I...
BREAKING: McCarthy replenishes US Strategic Salt Reserves from Rep Tlaib’s tears after Omar’s committee ouster
WASHINGTON, DC—The new Congress is already seeing returns from its Republican majority. Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy was able...
BREAKING: Chinese spy balloon spotted flying over North America
The Pentagon is tracking a suspected Chinese spy balloon that is making its way over the northern US, a further strain on...
Pink threatens to make pro-lifers listen to her music if they don’t start supporting abortion
Pink has taken to Twitter to send out a strong message to pro-life fans who support the recent overturning of...
BREAKING: CNN releases pics of police officers charged with Tyre Nichols beating
(CNN) The pictures of the five police officers charged with beating Memphis resident Tyre Nichols—an unarmed black man—have been released....
BREAKING: Unvaxxed, unhealthy, sick, guy with bad character wins Australian Open
An unhealthy, unvaxxed, sick, risk to society somehow won one of the most grueling sporting events in the world: the...
