BREAKING: Psaki tests positive for COVID; will miss Biden’s false flag assassination in Europe
WASHINGTON, DC—White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki said she tested positive for COVID-19 Tuesday so she will not be joining President* Joe Biden...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
ALERT: FBI seeks public’s help finding Science who has been missing for weeks
WASHINGTON, DC—The FBI is seeking the public's help in finding the man known as Science, who as been missing for...
BREAKING: Women with big hairy balls continue to dominate women without big hairy balls in sports
ATLANTA—Lia Thomas has become the first transgender athlete to win a National Collegiate Athletic Association swimming championship - but she...
EXCLUSIVE: Horrifying video shows Ukraine on fire after Russian attack
KYIV—Most of the news out of Ukraine has been fake, but Genesius Times has obtained an exclusive video of the...
Beto O’Rourke volunteers to fight for Ukraine with battalion of NERF gun sharpshooters
EL PASO—Failed presidential candidate Beto O'Rourke is flying to the Ukraine to join the fight against the Russians with a...
In response to Russian attack, Biden imposes several new sanctions on American citizens
WASHINGTON, DC—Following the further attack by Russia on Ukraine, the Biden administration announced new sanctions on American citizens, ensuring further...
American Fetuses identify as Ukrainians so that Democrats recognize their right to life
As many Democratic dominated state legislatures across the country push for extreme abortion deregulation including bills that would allow for...
BREAKING: Chicago cancels all drive-by shootings this week due to high gas prices
CHICAGO—Mayor Lori Lightfoot announced that all drive-by shootings will be suspended due to high gas prices. "I'm sorry to announce...
Biden announces new mandate requiring workers to show proof of support for Ukraine to keep job
WASHINGTON, DC—The Biden administration ordered U.S. companies today to ensure their employees are fully supporting Ukraine by Jan. 4 or...
Biden Pentagon hires Jussie Smollett to fake a Russian attack on US
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has been looking for an excuse to go to war with Russia since he took office....
