WASHINGTON DC—In a compassionate move, self-identifying president-elect Joe Biden has promised that once he is commander in chief, he will instruct each military branch to print “Black Lives Matter” on every bomb used to explode innocent brown and black people.

The move comes days after the media declared Biden president-elect, completely ignoring the fact that there are several states whose results are disputed and the fact that Genesius Times has declared Kanye West president-elect.

“This just goes to show you how compassionate and caring Joe Biden is,” self-identifying vice president-elect Kamala Harris said. “Donald Trump is actively trying to prevent wars and prevent us spreading this message of hope to people around the world.”

Black Lives Matter is a Marxist organization that helped Biden’s campaign by holding hundreds of Biden rallies across the country throughout the summer and early fall.

“This is a way to help pay back his BLM supporters like no one else can,” Harris added.

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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