Big Bird falls off stage, cancels all appearances following vaccination

GENESIUS TIMES

US–Big Bird has cancelled all appearances after falling off stage following highly publicized vaccination.

The eight-foot two-inch (249 cm) tall bright yellow anthropomorphic bird who can roller skate, ice skate, dance, swim, sing, write poetry, draw, and ride a unicycle announced that he had received the vaccine Saturday morning.

Shortly thereafter, he fell off the stage during a vaccine-promotion event:

A spokesman for the bird said that he has since cancelled all appearances as he is dealing with “family problems”.

“America’s favorite yellow bird will make an appearance next week to promote COVID vaccines if his family problems clear up and he doesn’t have any more paralysis or blood clots caused by the vacc–I mean family problems,” Jerry Jabba said.