US—Not to be outdone by the Karens for Kamala, 100,000 self-proclaimed “Cucks for Kamala” (also known as the “White Dudes for Kamala”) have taken their devotion to Vice President Kamala Harris to a new and bizarre level by collectively donating their testicles to her campaign.

The announcement came during a Harris campaign rally where the Vice President was visibly moved by the gesture. “This is true commitment,” Harris said, standing in front of a giant display of jars labeled with names. “These men are willing to give up their manhood for the future of this country. I am humbled and honored.”

The “Cucks for Kamala” movement, which started as a small online community, has rapidly grown into a nationwide phenomenon. The group, consisting mostly of middle-aged men, has embraced the nickname ‘cucks’ with pride, redefining it as a badge of honor for those who are willing to make extreme sacrifices for progressive causes.

“We wanted to do something that no one else has ever done to show our dedication,” said Chad Worthington, a spokesman for the group. “Donating our testicles is the ultimate symbol of our commitment to Kamala and her vision for America. And, we weren’t using our testicles anyway, so it’s really a win win. Our girlfriends’ boyfriends will be very happy about this.”

The logistics of the donations have been handled by a newly formed organization called “Balls for the Ballot,” which ensures that the testicles are collected, preserved, and delivered to the campaign headquarters. The organization claims that the donations are entirely voluntary and performed under medical supervision.

Critics have unsurprisingly had a field day with this announcement. Fox News host Tucker Carlson dedicated an entire segment to mocking the group, calling it “the most insane political stunt in history.” Meanwhile, conservative pundits on social media have jokingly asked if the next step will be a “Spines for Sanders” initiative.

However, the ‘Cucks for Kamala’ remain undeterred. “This is about more than just our testicles,” said Worthington. “It’s about standing up—well, maybe sitting down now—for what we believe in. Kamala Harris represents the future, and we’re willing to go to any lengths to support her.”

The Harris campaign has been quick to capitalize on the publicity, launching a new line of merchandise featuring slogans like “Kamala’s Cucks: We Stand (Well, Sit) Together” and “Real Men Donate.”

Hugh Janus, the man who cut off his penis so that other men don’t rape women with theirs, started ‘Cucks for Kamala’ in an effort to support effeminacy in the 2024 election.

“Men really shouldn’t have a say in politics, except for giving up our manhood for the Karens in our lives,” Janus said.

Political analysts are divided on whether this extreme display of loyalty will translate into votes. “It’s certainly unique,” said Dr. Emily Thompson, a political scientist at UCLA. “But whether or not it will resonate with the broader electorate remains to be seen. It’s a bold move, and it definitely sets the Harris campaign apart.”

As the 2024 election draws nearer, the Harris campaign continues to break new ground with unconventional strategies. Whether or not the ‘Cucks for Kamala’ will become a significant voting bloc is uncertain, but one thing is clear: these men are willing to give it their all—or, in this case, give it up entirely—for Kamala Harris.

In the meantime, the campaign has assured supporters that the donated testicles will be put to good use. “We’re exploring several options,” Harris said with a smile. “But rest assured, they will contribute to the fight for democracy in some way. Maybe we’ll build a monument. A very, very unique monument.”

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