BREAKING: De Blasio has instructed NYPD to invade Poland

New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio has instructed the New York Police Department to invade Poland, breaking several peacetime treaties.

At 4:45 a.m., some 1.5 million New York police invaded Poland all along its 1,750-mile border with New York-controlled territory. Simultaneously, the NYC Luftwaffe bombed Polish airfields, and New York warships and U-boats attacked Polish naval forces in the Baltic Sea. De Blasio has claimed the massive invasion was a defensive action, but the rest of the world were not convinced.

The shocking move followed several moves by De Blasio that have matched the Nazi leader Adolf Hitler to a tee including rounding up the Jews.

“The world is in shock as New York City has decided to invade Poland,” President Donald Trump said at his daily coronavirus press conference. “We stand with the Polish people in denouncing this act of war unequivocally.”

Many question the timing of the invasion.

“It’s curious why De Blasio would choose this time to attack a sovereign country like Poland,” political analyst Detlef Shrempf said. “It’s possible that all this COVID-19 authoritarianism has gone to his head.


"Excuse me, has this joke been fact-checked?"

Bypass Zuck and his minions and receive hilarious "unauthorized" satire to your inbox, every day.

We don’t spam! Read our privacy policy for more info.