ST. LOUIS—Facebook users everywhere, especially those named Karen, are excited about a new feature that allows them to report people who might not be following draconian lockdown rules set by governments and supported by ultra progressive big tech.
Called the ‘Care-n’ react, the button alerts Facebook moderators and other Nazis that someone somewhere is trying to live a normal life despite the dire consequences it might cause as reported by the mainstream media.
“I’m all the feels with this new react option,” said Karen Jones of St. Louis. “I’ve been waiting for a react that really brings to life all my twisted fantasies to run down people not obeying the rules, and am so glad that it’s finally here.”
As many Americans are still trapped indoors in accordance with COVID-19 lockdowns, Facebook has become the go-to resource for staying in touch with family and friends. It is also the top way folks have satisfied their totalitarian urge to imprison anyone who is not explicitly following the draconian edicts sent down by government elites.
“It’s a way for us to stay a little more connected,” a Facebook spokesman said, “even if some of us are awaiting a gruesome death in gas chambers.”
Some users are not impressed.
“For me personally, I’d have more use for a ‘Vomit’ react or maybe a ‘Torn Constitution’ react with all the totalitarianism going on,” Lionel Bridges posted before he was inundated with fifty Care-n reacts and abruptly escorted to the nearest concentration camp. “I guess it’s for my own safety, so it’s okay.”
Along with the new react, Facebook has officially changed its name to Fascbook to better reflect their true purpose.