BREAKING: Jennifer Lopez wins Iowa Caucus
Non binary Trans illegal alien Muslim terrorist, Donald Trump others also got Democratic delegates
The chaos in the Iowa Caucus has resulted in a complete change of the Democratic party elections. While Donald Trump won the Republican Caucus within a few hours of the primary election ending, the Democratic party election ended up in confusion despite having veteran Hillary Clinton campaign operatives like Gerard Niemira handling the event.
In the end, it was the 16-year-old male vote that ended up giving the presidential nomination to singer, actress, dancer, fashion designer and halftime show performer Jennifer Lynn Lopez or JLO for short. The Bronx born Latina has made political statements before and waved the Puerto Rican flag during the biggest American sports event on Sunday, but her main campaign promise appears to be transparency. “She’s Hot!” remarked Ezel Eifooled who thanks to no voter id laws ended up casting 3 votes for the pop star.
There will be nothing left to the imagination in a Lopez administration should she win the Democratic nomination and presidency.
“How can I handoff a bribe of money to a woman who has no pockets or skirt or bra and expect it to be hidden,” said international business operative LiuHunter Bidenoffski. It is not known if more corrupt government officials in Puerto Rico will be arrested for withholding aid if the Puerto Rican singer ends up in the oval office.
Other winners of the Iowa Circus Caucus include Muhammed sprinkle sans refugeeUnicorn, a Non binary Trans illegal alien Muslim who has been arrested multiple times for having connections with radical Islam.
Fortunately for refugeeUnicorn, the same system that allowed the Tsanerev Brothers into the USA is still in place. Donald Trump somehow won a democrat delegate, along with Mr. Nobody, the enemy of the Doom Patrol. Two delegates were awarded to EpsteinDidntKillHimself but were asleep when the announcement was made. Those delegates will be sold in an Islamic slave trade later this week.
Marianna Williamson won a delegate for President of the Phantom Zone and yours truly, Bubbaken Managua, won a delegate to be President of Nicaragua in the event of an overthrow of communist dictator Daniel Ortega. A few delegates have yet to be assigned.