NEW YORK–Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey was caught shooting messenger pigeons being send by the Trump Team at Trump Tower. The bold action came after his social media company and several others banned the sitting president from their sites because he led an armed insurrection to take over the government he’s running.
Dorsey and his band of billionaire tech mean girls also worked to eliminate competitors to Twitter by kicking them off their hosting. After Dorsey heard that the Trump Team had moved to messenger pigeons, he flew immediately to New York to “shoot those bastards down.”
Dorsey started Twitter to make sure so that people could speak their mind as long as they agreed with him and he wants to ensure that no one ever hears from Donald Trump again.
“I can’t kill Trump, evidently,” Dorsey said, “But I don’t think anyone’s going to stop me from shooting his messenger pigeons.”
The Biden administration’s Ministry of Truth has approved all murder of messenger pigeons–even in the city limits–as long as they are sent by conservatives.
Dorsey was arrested for discharging a shotgun in the city but immediately released to finish the job.