Local man buys $900 3D printer so he can make cheap Chinese junk at home for 10 times the price
In a bold leap toward self-sufficiency, local man Greg Thompson, 38, has unveiled his latest venture: crafting budget-tier Chinese trinkets...
Culture
Genesius Times Drops ‘Everyone I Don’t Like is Hitler’ Tops Billfloard Hot 100, Sparks Global Meme Frenzy
Hold onto your memes, folks: satirical news juggernaut Genesius Times has just unleashed their debut single, Everyone I Don’t Like...
Sacrifice a human and 7 more ways to not be a bigot on Indigenous Peoples’ Day
Everyone knows that if you celebrate Columbus Day, you're a Nazi bigot, so that's why most woke cultures and municipalities...
Fans Thank Pope As Beer Cooler Ice Remains Unmelted After ‘Ice Blessing’
VATICAN CITY – In a move hailed as the greatest papal intervention since the invention of the fish fry, Pope...
In attempt to retain subscribers, Netflix releases new Trump docudrama series
LOS ANGELES, CA – In an effort to retain fleeing subscribers, Netflix has unveiled Trump: The Reimagining, a new docudrama...
Urban Farming as a Financially Sustainable Practice
The Growing Case for Urban FarmingUrban farming is more than a trendy buzzword—it’s a real solution to financial, social, and...
Brigitte Macron produces ironclad photographic evidence of womanhood
PARIS – In a stunning rebuttal to years of baseless conspiracy theories questioning her gender, Brigitte Macron, France’s First Lady,...
If You Wanted to Silence Jimmy Kimmel, You Should’ve Just Killed Him Like a Normal Person
In these tumultuous times, where the airwaves are a battlefield and late-night comedy is the last bastion of truth (or...
‘The Late Show with Stephen Colbert’ Wins Emmy for Best Talk Series to Be Canceled for Being So Awful
CBS’s The Late Show with Stephen Colbert clinched the Emmy for Best Talk Series at last night’s ceremony, a category...
The Daily Dumpster Fire: Episode 1
Welcome to The Daily Dumpster Fire, the flagship news roundup of the Genesius Times, hosted by the reliably unimpressive duo...
