BREAKING: White smoke indicates New York City has a new mayor
NEW YORK—In a stunning turn of events that left New Yorkers equal parts confused and oddly proud, white smoke billowed...
Culture
Nation celebrates Juneteenth when the government freed slaves from the plantation and made them slaves to the state
US—Americans across the country came together on June 19th to celebrate the momentous occasion of Juneteenth - the day when...
Leave Every Light in the House On and the Doors Open and Other Great Gift Ideas for Father’s Day
Dads are notoriously difficult to shop for, so we're thinking a little outside of the box with these gifts! Each...
Porn star to throw in a little singing in her next porno
In a move that has left both the adult film industry and her former Disney fanbase utterly baffled, pop sensation-turned-porn...
Walmart opens new ‘Loot!’ section in all of its California stores
UNITED STATES—Walmart CEO Dan McMillon announced today that Walmart will have a special looting section in all of its San...
BREAKING: Trump replaces official Biden portrait at White House
WASHINGTON, DC—President Donald J. Trump, freshly reinstated in the Oval Office, has replaced President Joe Biden’s official White House portrait...
Swifties Vow to Endure Taylor Swift’s Horrible Music on Repeat to Fund Her Masters Buyback
In a bizarre twist that has the music world clutching its pearls and reaching for noise-canceling headphones, millions of Taylor...
BREAKING: City Council prohibits driving or walking on their new pride crosswalks
The city council has prohibited driving or walking on their new pride crosswalks to prevent destruction, in what many are...
Pride parade cancelled due to 90% chance of fire and brimstone
A pride parade scheduled to be held on Saturday in the twin cities of Sodom and Gomorrah has been cancelled...
MEMORIAL DAY: Nation mourns George Floyd who died when his spaceship exploded in 2020
US—This Memorial Day, the nation is mourning NASA legend George Floyd who died two years ago when his spaceship exploded...
