Senators advised not to wear their Qipaos while speaking about China tariffs
Washington, D.C. – The Senate chamber turned into a sartorial circus this week as senators were cautioned against wearing qipaos...
Culture
Local dad makes sure kids don’t waste pennies leaving lights on so he can waste thousands in crypto
In the quaint suburban town of Evergreen Meadows, local dad Greg Thompson has elevated frugality to a performance art—provided it’s...
BREAKING: April Fool’s Day cancelled because reality is so ridiculous
US President* Joe Biden has cancelled the national holiday April Fool's Day due to severe competition from the ridiculousness of...
BREAKING: Millions of Catholics devastated as Pope Francis has not died at 88
VATICAN CITY, March 24, 2025 – A wave of disappointment has swept through the Catholic world today as millions of...
Ireland slaps 125% tariff on US Goods until America takes Rosie O’Donnell back
Dublin, Ireland – The Irish government announced today a staggering 125% tariff on all goods imported from the United States,...
Zelensky launches new reality TV show: Dancing with the Tsars in bold war-fundraising effort
In a dazzling pivot from trench warfare to twirling waltzes, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky has unveiled his latest strategy to...
Elon Musk Offers ‘The View’ Hosts an All-Woman SpaceX One-Way Ticket to Deep Space
Elon Musk has extended an offer to the hosts of ABC’s The View for an exclusive, all-woman SpaceX flight—a one-way...
Gene Hackman and wife Betsy Arakawa have information that will lead to the arrest of Hillary Clinton
Retired actor Gene Hackman and his wife, Betsy Arakawa, have emerged from their low-key New Mexico existence with a bombshell:...
MSNBC fires Joy Reid because she didn’t call people racist hard enough
In a shocking twist that absolutely no one saw coming (except maybe the internet), Joy Reid, former MSNBC host and...
BREAKING: Child of B-List celebrity bravely comes out as attention whore
HOLLYWOOD—In a jaw-dropping moment that caught absolutely no one off guard, 19-year-old Skyler Montague—offspring of former River Hollow teen idol...
