Pope finally condemns Olympic Opening Ceremony for not including an abortion too
VATICAN CITY — In an unexpected and unprecedented statement, the Pope* has condemned the Paris Olympic opening ceremony for what...
Culture
BREAKING: Dozens turn to salt when looking at Eiffel Tower
FRANCE- Dozens of people from around the globe have been mysteriously turning into pillars of salt throughout the City of...
BREAKING: Harris picks ‘Hawk Tuah’ Girl for VP
In a move that has turned the political world upside down, Vice President Kamala Harris has announced the "Hawk Tuah"...
BREAKING: Paris Olympics Adds ‘Dodging Fire and Brimstone’ Event Following Blasphemous Opening Ceremonies
PARIS—In an unexpected twist, the 2024 Paris Olympics Committee has announced the addition of a new event: "Dodging Fire and...
Kamala Harris demands $1billion in reparations from herself for the slaves her ancestors owned
WASHINGTON, D.C.— In a bold and unprecedented move, Vice President Kamala Harris has announced that she will be paying herself...
Not to be outdone by Trump’s sneakers, Kamala Harris releases line of golden knee pads
In a bold move to outshine her political rival, former Vice President Kamala Harris has unveiled her latest venture: a...
John Deere changes its name to John Queere
In a shocking and unexpected turn of events, John Deere, the iconic American agricultural machinery manufacturer, has officially changed its...
BREAKING: France surrenders to invading migrants
PARIS—Anxious to finally surrender to someone for the first time in years, the French government has officially announced its surrender...
Rapper 50 Cent changes name to 85 Cent to reflect current inflation
In an unprecedented move, rapper and entrepreneur Curtis Jackson, better known as 50 Cent, has officially changed his stage name...
Pope Francis excommunicates Archbishop Viganò for being ‘too Catholic’
Pope Francis has officially excommunicated Archbishop Carlo Maria Viganò for being "too Catholic," leaving the disgraced cleric to fend for...
