Mattel offering free abortions with purchase of each Barbie movie ticket
HOLLYWOOD—In a bold marketing move that left parents everywhere questioning their sanity, toy giant Mattel has announced an unexpected promotion...
Culture
Mattel releases Booster-Shot Barbie complete with Guillain-Barre paralysis!
2022 is a big year for Barbie who is covering all sorts of new ground including the vax-positive "Booster Shot Barbie"...
POLL: How should Disney rename irredeemably racist Snow White?
It's clear the Disney's Snow White franchise is irredeemably racist and must be completely overhauled. What should we demand Disney...
BREAKING: G-D Will Destroy Portland If He Can’t Find Ten Righteous People In The City
HEAVEN—Heavenly sources confirmed that the city of Portland is in mortal danger. If G-D cannot find ten righteous people in...
Disney announces their newest princess: Colin Kaepernick
ALTA VISTA, FL—Disney has announced their newest princess, Colin Kaepernick, who will star in a new film that will “showcase...
Disney to Reimagine Classic as ‘Snow Brown and the Seven They/Thems’
In a move that has been called “brave” and “stunning”, Disney is putting a new twist on the studio’s first...
US cheers Hollywood writers’ strike, excited for break from nonstop degenerate propaganda
In a surprising turn of events, the Hollywood writers have gone on strike, leaving the United States ecstatic about the...
Macron caught fiddling as Paris burns to the ground
PARIS—French President Emmanuel Macron was caught playing his fiddle as reports came in that the entire city of Paris was...
BREAKING: Hateful DeSantis bans classic children’s books ‘Whore & Peace’ ‘Charlotte’s Web Cam’ and ‘Moby’s Dick’
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPDORsMe00k TALLAHASSEE—In a shocking move that has left literary enthusiasts scratching their heads, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis has announced a...
BREAKING: Biden bails out faltering Disney with $1 billion contract to make LGBTQ propaganda films
VISTA DEL MAL, CA—Disney has struggled recently, shedding almost half of its stock value and hundreds of millions of dollars...
