Fans Thank Pope As Beer Cooler Ice Remains Unmelted After ‘Ice Blessing’
VATICAN CITY – In a move hailed as the greatest papal intervention since the invention of the fish fry, Pope...
Religion
BREAKING: Sadiq Khan Bans Assault Bacon in London, Declares City ‘Safe for Muslims’
LONDON—Mayor Sadiq Khan has announced a city-wide ban on "assault bacon," declaring it a public safety hazard and a bold...
‘Fetuses are parasites,’ says 34-year-old living in parents’ basement
US—Unemployed Herman Schock, who currently resides in the basement of his parents' house in a suburb of Kansas City, Missouri,...
BREAKING: White smoke indicates New York City has a new mayor
NEW YORK—In a stunning turn of events that left New Yorkers equal parts confused and oddly proud, white smoke billowed...
Buc-ee’s opens first store in Vatican City minutes after cardinals elect first American pope
VATICAN—In a move that has left Catholics, Texans, and snack enthusiasts reeling, the Vatican announced the grand opening of a...
BREAKING: Catholic Cardinals Elect Joe Biden as Pope After Mysterious 3 AM Vote Surge
VATICAN CITY– In an unprecedented turn of events that has left the Catholic world reeling, the College of Cardinals has...
BREAKING: Katy Perry declares herself pope after reading the Bible for 11 minutes
In a stunning turn of events that has left the Catholic Church reeling and Twitter ablaze, pop superstar Katy Perry...
BREAKING: Pope Francis dies happy after meeting with JD Vance
Pope Francis has passed away, reportedly with a beaming smile on his face, mere hours after a private audience with...
Catholic Nuns Cure ADHD With Simple Life Hack
US—In a groundbreaking revelation that has left the scientific community red-faced and Catholic school alumni smirking, a coalition of nuns...
BREAKING: Millions of Catholics devastated as Pope Francis has not died at 88
VATICAN CITY, March 24, 2025 – A wave of disappointment has swept through the Catholic world today as millions of...
