Pope Leo will only meet with SSPX once they’re in formal schism like everyone else he meets
Vatican City — Citing long-standing papal policy, Pope Leo XIV has indicated he will only meet with leaders of the...
Religion
Zionists Perform “Give War a Chance” in Oval Office to Protest Iran Peace Deal
WASHINGTON — In a rare display of legislative-executive harmony, prominent Zionist figures Mark Levin, Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX), and Sen....
King Charles Appears to Forget Human Contact Lenses During Latest Address
LONDON — In what Palace officials described as a “minor wardrobe oversight,” King Charles III delivered a measured address on...
Mamdani Organizes NYC’s Inaugural Public Stoning of Rape Victim
NEW YORK — In a landmark step toward multicultural equity, Mayor Zohran Mamdani personally oversaw the city’s inaugural public stoning...
Belfast ravaged by climate change following migrant attack
BELFAST—PSNI Assistant Chief Constable Siobhan Murphy told reporters: “We are monitoring a number of incidents involving fire. However, it is...
BREAKING: Trump’s Refurbished Reflecting Pool Mysteriously Reflects Only His Face
WASHINGTON — Officials confirmed Tuesday that the recently renovated Reflecting Pool on the National Mall now displays an image of...
Evangelicals Finally Find a Graven Image They Can Worship
DORAL, FL — After centuries of staunchly opposing the veneration of religious statues — including centuries of criticism directed at...
Evangelicals Update the Bible: ‘Thou Shalt Have No Graven Images…Except If It’s Gold Plated and Owns the Libs’
DORAL, FL — Following a solemn blessing ceremony at Trump National Doral Miami, evangelical leaders announced a long-overdue clarification to...
Netanyahu Warns Trump: Vatican City One Month From Nuclear Weapon
Jerusalem – In a late-night phone call that reportedly lasted 47 minutes and included several awkward pauses while aides Googled...
UK Agrees to Let Kanye In If He Converts to Islam and Rapes At Least 5 White Girls During His Stay
LONDON — In a bold move hailed as a triumph for diversity, inclusion, and pragmatic border policy, the British Home...
