CDC renames coronavirus coronAbortion; suddenly it’s not a problem anymore
The leftist dream of blaming Donald J Trump for a failing economy has been difficult due to the economy not...
Health
Lori Loughlin caught cheating on coronavirus test
The SAT cheating scandal seems like it's in the rearview mirror these days. Most of the accused have pled to...
God to isolate Earth from rest of Universe until after Spring Break
We are in the midst of a Pandemic. The worst Pandemic the world has ever endured. At least 120% of...
Bill Gates leaves Microsoft board to focus on killing innocent people through biological weapons
Microsoft announced on Friday that Bill Gates is leaving the board, effective Friday. Gates is also stepping down from his position on...
PSA: All public events are cancelled so that residents can meet at Costco to fight over toilet paper
This is a Genesius Times Public Service Announcement regarding the unprecedented coronavirus outbreak: Until further notice, all public events in...
BREAKING: Biden to self-quarantine; will only sniff women under 17 from now on
The coronavirus crisis is starting to hit Capitol Hill as two Republican lawmakers announced Sunday they were were in "self-quarantine"...
To prevent death or injury, CDC recommends canceling everything forever
ATLANTA, GA – The Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued new guidelines for dealing with the sniffles...
Joe Biden promises to cure coronavirus if elected president
Former Vice President Joe Biden made a bold promise today to "cure coronavirus" if he is elected president in 2020. During a press...
Bernie assures dying Italians that rationing of care their in socialized medical system ‘isn’t so bad’
Democratic socialist presidential candidate Bernie Sanders flew to Italy before the travel ban goes into effect to assure dying Italians...
Migrant horde reminded to wash hands before storming Greek border: EU officials
European Union officials concerned with the spread of coronavirus have issued a plea to the thousands of military-age men amassing...
