BREAKING: Kevin McCarthy saw his shadow this morning indicating 6 more weeks of voting for Speaker
WASHINGTON, DC—Kevin McCarthy's hopes were dashed this morning as he emerged from his office this morning, looked around and saw...
Politics
BREAKING: Kevin McCarthy agrees to step aside and let Volodymyr Zelensky become Speaker of the House
After six stalemate votes, Democrats and Republicans came together to to select the great American Volodymyr Zelensky to be Speaker...
BREAKING: New York Renamed ‘New Yawk’ so Residents Will Actually Pronounce the State’s Name Correctly
New Yorkers are notorious for dropping the letter ‘r’ in every word they say. Literally. Like the word lobster sounds...
BREAKING: Rob Reiner hospitalized with acute TDS after Trump taxes show nothing amiss
NEW YORK--Vocal leftist Rob Reiner was hospitalized yesterday with acute Trump derangement syndrome after the House Ways and Means Committee...
Brave Ukrainian soldier jumps on pile of Russian fentanyl to save fellow soldiers
A brave unknown soldier (pictured above) jumped on a pile of Russian fentanyl to save his fellow soldiers. He will...
BREAKING: Congress narrowly averts being fiscally responsible again
US—Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell joined the Democrats in passing a funding bill which narrowly averted the Congress being fiscally...
BREAKING: El Paso asks to join Egypt to qualify for some of $410M Mid East border security budget
US—The Texas border town of El Paso has asked to join the African country of Egypt in order to quality...
BREAKING: Biden reminds Zelensky that ‘Nothing is free, kid’ during photo op
WASHINGTON, DC—US President* Joe Biden reminded Ukraine President* Volodymyr Zelensky that "Nothing is free, kid," during a photo op at...
Pelosi: ‘I gave $110B to Ukraine and all I got was this lousy flag!’
WASHINGTON, DC—Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi is mad as hell after Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky gave her a Ukrainian...
BREAKING: Omnibus spending bill includes $74 million green T-shirt budget for Zelensky
US—Congress is poised to pass an historic omnibus spending bill with $1.7 Trillion in new debt. While people like Senator...
