CDC releases new ‘mood ring’ that tells what COVID variant you have

ATLANTA—The US Centers for Disease Control and Promotion (CDC) are experts at science and all the science-y things. They come up with the best recommendations and then equally amazing recommendations that completely contradict their previous recommendations.

Lots of people—even mainstream media—don’t like when the CDC contradict themselves but we love it. If you can’t follow utterly contradictory recommendations of a political body, then are you really believing in science like Dr. Anthony Fauci would tell us to do?

And you need to follow their recommendations, because science.

Their latest endeavor will really amaze you. They’re been developing a great new technology—a “mood ring”—that tells you what COVID variant you have.

“This mood ring is 175% accurate,” CDC Director Rochelle Walensky said in an exclusive interview with Genesius Times. “And it’s 1438% more accurate than the PCR test that we’ve been promoting up until now and basing all the public policy on.”

It is estimated that 87% of all statistics are made up.


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