Chick-Fil-A Introduces “Uncle Bosie’s Bites” & “Corn Pop Poppers”
ATLANTA—Chick-Fil-A has introduced two new menu items that are sure to raise eyebrows: “Uncle Bosie’s Bites” and “Corn Pop Poppers.” According to a spokesperson, the inspiration behind these names is none other than the 46th President of the United States.
“We believe in honoring this great leader by naming our chicken wings after his uncle, who was famously devoured by cannibals,” said P. Pulleater, Chick-Fil-A’s chief marketing officer. “And who can forget the epic tale of Corn Pop, the bully who met his match with a chain-wielding hero? It’s only fitting that we pay tribute to these… unique… aspects of our President’s life story.”
Marketing expert Donny Deutsch was quick to praise the move, calling it “inspired.” “This has opened up a whole new world of possibilities for me,” Deutsch said. “I’ve already contacted KY Jelly to see if we can rebrand their product as ‘Toobin’s Tube’ in honor of that one time a CNN analyst got caught, ahem, pleasuring himself on a Zoom call.”
When asked about the potential backlash from customers who might find the names in poor taste, Pulleater shrugged, saying, “Hey, we’re just trying to bring a little excitement to the fast food industry. If people get offended, that’s their problem. We’re all about pushing boundaries and making people talk.”
Early reviews of the new menu items are mixed, with some customers praising the crispy, juicy chicken bites and others expressing discomfort with the, ahem, “inspiration” behind the names.
“I mean, I love chicken wings as much as the next guy, but do I really want to eat something named after a cannibalized uncle?” asked one customer. “I think I’ll stick to the original Chick-Fil-A sandwich, thank you very much.”
In related news, Chick-Fil-A has announced plans to introduce a new line of “Tweets-n-Tenders” in honor of the President’s infamous Twitter rants. Because what’s more appetizing than a bucket of fried chicken named after a series of all-caps tirades?
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