Clintons launch new furniture store: ILKEEYA
Since Hillary Clinton‘s loss, the Clinton foundation has been burning through cash without very many new donors. A new income stream has been on the back burner for a while but the cash is needed now to continue their corruption, self-dealing and sleazy financial arrangements. Hunter Biden will be heading up this project. His dad will be consulting. Peter Schweitzer will be heading up recruitment efforts as other positions open up.
After a series of negotiations with the Swedish furniture company, a deal has been reached which will surely fill the Coffers of the Foundation. The furniture line will be aptly named, ILKEEYA. Though quite close to the original company name it was felt to be so aptly named it was unanimously adopted.
The first item to be offered will be a bunk bed which can be accessorized with Orange pajamas, a tie-down rope, and sheet set guaranteed not to shred or tear no matter how many times you try and kill yourself. The very first order for this unique item came from none other than the Jeffrey Epstein doppleganger, wealthy Middle Eastern businessman Haadid Nahkil Muhssef. Several color patterns will be offered on the sheets but by far the most ordered on the pre-release sale has been Epstein purple.
Their new and improved Vince Foster Line of convertible sofas will now open up to reveal a final resting place for anyone who has ever had any dealings with the Clintons. And each convertible sofa will come with a 100% discount to any untraceable local small arms dealer.
Their Seth Rich Line of commodes will come in various shades of Russian Red guaranteed not to Wikileak.
And finally, their Ron Brown Line of ultra-penetrating Swedish ammunition which completely disappears upon impact, is untraceable, and never existed in the first place.
Any questions or complaints regarding this product or any other product within the ILKEEYA line will be forwarded to the prison guards at Rikers Island who will be pleased to make a home visit to discuss any misgivings and of course, will bring with them a new and improved Vince Foster final resting place convertible sofa should it be needed.
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