CONFIRMED: Greta is cyborg sent back in time to kill off humanity

Rumors circulated after teen climate activist Greta Thunberg met with Terminator actor Arnold Schwarzenegger recently. Was she in fact a cyborg sent back in time to kill off humanity? Was she doing reconnaissance for her mission?

Genesius Times has uncovered certain proof that Thunberg is in fact a cyborg sent back in time to kill off humanity: a picture of her from the Yukon territory circa 1905.

Thunberg was reportedly trying to strike it rich in the gold rush of that era in order to generate enough money to publicize her end-times prophecy and bring about the end of humanity.

She was evidently unsuccessful in 1905 in generating enough of a movement to end humanity. Most people scoffed at her anti-human doom and gloom. But so she tried again in 2017, when it appears that the world population is ripe for self-hate.

Will she be successful? Only time will tell if she needs to try another age with her devious schemes.


"Excuse me, has this joke been fact-checked?"

Bypass Zuck and his minions and receive hilarious "unauthorized" satire to your inbox, every day.

We don’t spam! Read our privacy policy for more info.