Disney recasts Star Wars with Fauci as Princess Leia

HOLLYWOOD—This Christmas, Disney has a treat for us: the re-re-release of Star Wars with Dr. Anthony Fauci staring as Princess Leia repeating the unforgettable phrase over and over again: “Help me Omi-con, you’re my only hope!”

The re-re-release of the epic science fiction is being sponsored by Pfizer, who has changed a few things with the original script, most notably is Obi Wan Kenobi being replaced by Omicron variant of SARS-CoV-2.

Fauci will play Princess Leia and the Emperor as well:

The plot will stay loosely the same except Omi-cron is the savior of Princess Leia and the Pharmaceutical-Industrial Complex Empire Rebellion.

President* Biden will play the lovable Jar Jar Binks.

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