SACRAMENTO—California Governor Gavin Newsom has issued an ultimatum to the world: sacrifice 1 million babies to climate goddess Greta Thunberg this year, or face the consequences of a blotted-out sun. The governor, who has been advocating for climate action since he took office, has taken his crusade to new heights – or rather, new darkness.

Newsom, who has been praised for his ambitious climate goals, has gained a massive following around the globe. His unwavering dedication to the cause has inspired millions of people to take action and fight for a better future. However, his latest demand has left many questioning whether his methods have gone too far.

According to sources close to the governor, Newsom is growing increasingly frustrated with the slow pace of change and the lack of commitment from world leaders. He believes that drastic measures are necessary to force humanity to take climate change seriously. And what could be more drastic than threatening to blot out the sun?

But why babies, you ask? Well, it seems that Newsom is following the lead of climate goddess Greta Thunberg, who has also called for a million sacrifices. He believes that by giving in to her demands, he can ensure the survival of the remaining children and protect their future. It’s a heartwarming sentiment, to be sure, but one that has raised eyebrows among those who value human life.

Of course, this is not the first time that Newsom has made headlines for his radical ideas. In the past, he has called for the complete ban of single-use plastics, the establishment of a statewide high-speed rail system, and the transition to 100% renewable energy by 2045. While some have praised him for his boldness, others have criticized him for his lack of pragmatism.

So, what will the world do in response to Newsom’s ultimatum? Will we give in to his demands and sacrifice a million innocent lives, or will we risk facing a blotted-out sun? Only time will tell, but one thing is for sure: Gavin Newsom is not afraid to shake things up in the name of climate justice.

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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