Georgia Senate runoff ballots now available on Amazon for $14.99!
SEATTLE–Amazon spokesperson, Jeff Bezalbog, filled us in on their new Elections department. “We kinda missed the boat on the last presidential election, I mean, 150 million voters, that’s a huge ticket item for us. The ‘big guy’ gave us the go-ahead for the Georgia Senate runoff absentee ballots, though. $14.99 is a great price, and you can’t get this item at Walmart or Target or Costco, so yeah, we’re the guys, okay. We are going to be involved in all of the upcoming elections from now on. If you return your ballet to us, we will make sure it gets counted. Amazon will make elections easy-peasy-not-so-greasy. As we say around the office water cooler, ‘Amazon is as American as apple pie only not as tasty’. That reminds me, we have apple pies on sale right now in the frozen 12 pack.
“By special arrangement, as an option, you can have your ballet filled out by a real celebrity for only $24.99 more. We have over 40 different celebrities to choose from. It’s almost like having a star named after you… only not.
Also, check out our new Apple iCollars and the latest Oliver Stone film production on Amazon TV, ‘Gone With the Wind 2, The Battle for Georgia‘.”