Iran employs long-range Lockheed Martin Gaydar as Buttigieg climbs in the polls

Everyone is well aware of the murderous Islamic thugs who identify, torture and eventually kill gay and lesbian people living in predominantly Muslim-majority countries and under Sharia Law. However, as token homosexual Pete Buttigieg gains in the Democratic primary polls, the Ayatollah Khomeini has become worried and decided to invest millions in an advanced, long-distance Lockheed Martin Gaydar to identify any threat from the Great Satan.

“If that robotic heathen becomes president of the US, we will be ready,” Khomeini said.

Lockheed is well known to have saturated the US market with its Apple and Android Gaydar apps. In addition, they have introduced their new Gaydar sunglass lenses which transitions to rainbow waterfall images when within 50 yards of any LGBTQ person, closeted or uncloseted with the 2020 update now available at additional cost.

With Lockheed’s reputation unsullied, the Imams have earmarked all the money Obama gave them for their ‘Rainy Gay Fund”. At their most recent ‘Koffee clatch stitch and bitch’, the Imam’s were overheard saying, “Death to America but damn they make great Gaydar and we could really use summadat. Sure, we sent out little Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to claim we have no fags or dikes but with HGTV, almost 80% of our kids are either gay now or want to begin transitioning like yesterday.”

The initial order is planned for 100 converted AWAC’s specially equipped with ‘Rear-Penetrating Ultra Deep Gaydar’ with an upgrade to include a specially designed ‘Carpet munching’ attachment on the flaps and slats.


About Author


You made it through the woke censors to see this post. Sign up below to get more funny directly to your inbox!

We don’t spam! Read our privacy policy for more info.