SILICON VALLEY—Former Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey has launched “Bitter”, the social media app for all disaffected liberals who have left Twitter since Elon Musk bought the company yesterday.

Bitter is the exact same thing as Twitter except it will censor anything its 16 purple-haired moderators find offensive.

“We need a place to exist and we just can’t exist with all those crazy people telling the ‘truth’ out there,” one Bitter user with the name of OrangeManBad said.

The official color of Bitter is green and they’ve replaced the famous Twitter bird logo with a screaming liberal.

“This is going to be a safe place for everyone. It will finally be a place dedicated to free speech through strict censorship,” Dorsey said.

About Author

Exavier Saskagoochie

Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He’s really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!

See author's posts