KENOSHA, WI—The three Kenosha protesters who were shot by 17-year-old Kyle Rittenhouse were shocked to find that they won stupid prizes immediately after playing stupid games.

“Several people ran after a kid with an AR-15 and attacked him. Everyone was utterly shocked when the kid turned around and started defending his life by firing his rifle at them,” one eyewitness said.

One of the men shot by Rittenhouse was convicted pedophile Joseph “JoJo” Rosenbaum who was seen taunting heavily armed people, saying, “shoot me n****a!” minutes before being shot.

After the shooting, Rosenbaum complained of the killing via satellite from Hell.

“How was I supposed to know that attacking a kid with a gun after screaming for people to shoot me was going to get me shot. It’s just not fair!” Rosenbaum said while being fondled by a flaming demon.

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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