Mark Zuckerberg publishes ‘Definitive List of Everything that’s Funny’

MENLO PARK, CA—Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg has published the Definitive List of Everything that’s Funny, which will be used to determine which satirical articles and memes can be posted.

“I have determine what everyone should be or should not be laughing at and I will instruct my employees and third-party fact-checkers to censor or otherwise destroy links to anything that is not funny as deemed by myself,” Zuckerberg said in a press conference announcing the publication of the book.

The book contains mainly puns and dad jokes like the following:

#1,372: “I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!”

#4,972: “You really shouldn’t be intimidated by advanced math…it’s easy as pi!”

#8,776: “What did the sushi say to the bee? Wasabee!”

The last one was actually in a list of items that have been deemed insensitive since the Definitive List of Everything that’s Funny was published yesterday.

Satire articles are allowed, but they cannot have any references to anything that “incites violence”, like the Genesius Times article that inspired a The Babylon Bee article that recently got them demonitized:

Any jokes about Joe Biden or Hunter Biden are expressly prohibited.

“We’re almost to the point where we have eliminated all the un-funny content from the Internet. With the help of my definitive list, we can accomplish this in no time.” Zuckerberg added.


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