RICHMOND, VA—Terry McAuliffe is waiting for his ‘Biden spike’ of votes to come in and for all the media to accept it and declare him the winner of the Virginia governorship.

But Democratic Party officials said their printers were down and they could print enough fake ballots this time.

“We’re really sorry, but there won’t be a Biden spike this time,” Democratic Print Officer Dirk McFiggins said.

This story is developing.

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Exavier Saskagoochie

Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He’s really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!

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