Modern Fuhrer magazine’s new Hitlers Ranked poll finds George Washington is still in first place, surprisingly, Hitler himself has dropped to fifth.
Magazine editor, Kaiser Posa explained it this way. “Historically, it will always be hard for some despot to be more of a Hitler than George was. Although he wasn’t known for hating jews, that is not to say he didn’t as antisemitism and pogroms were very popular back in the day. He was known, however, for killing mass quantities of British although he did not have access to large ovens so, they just shot them. The biggest reason nonetheless, Hitler tried to remake Germany into a newer version, a world dynasty, but failed, George succeeded.
Rounding out our top four, this year Jesus makes it in the finals as he largely influenced the killings of some 87 million Jews by Christianity, easily beating out Hitler who is credited with only 6 million.
Newcomer, Ron DeSantis, the governor of Florida makes the list, nominated by our ‘Woman of the Year, Nikki Fried, an admitted ‘Hitler enthusiast’ who says “if anyone can tell if someone is Hitler-like, it’s me as anyone who knew my dad could tell you.”
Louie C.K. made the list solely because of his outward charm of which Hitler had a Tiger tankful and Mickey Mouse made the list because everyone knows what a f****** problem mice can be.
Hitler himself has sunk to fifth in the list of top Hitlers as most people’s memories fade on how very Hitleresque he was and also they tend to forget the other 20 million people he killed who weren’t Jews.